Grendel’s Kitchen

… gambling is going on in here? Not exactly. We’re shocking Ahab. And not just for the fun of it.

Extracorporeal shockwaves are high-pressure, low frequency sound waves (supersonic acoustic pressure waves) generated by a device outside the body and applied to the affected tissue in a site-specific manner. This type of therapy was originally used to treat human beings with kidney stones by breaking up the stones without the need for invasive surgery. More recently, shockwaves have been used to treat a range of orthopaedic conditions in both human beings and animals.

So of course we must have this new Extracorporeal Shockwave Therapy thing. We’ve been searching for alternatives to avoid another horrific and extended recovery from surgery — Ahab’s shoulder fracture just won’t repair despite the cutting edge (ugh) surgery and reattachment of his ligaments inspired by major ballplayers. And the pain is awful.

Our wonderful orthopaedic surgeon — Dr. McCarthy — has greenlighted this non-invasive approach they use primarily on horses over at Tufts. At a mere $250 a session (two more to go), we’re well below the truly big bucks another surgery would cost. (Can you believe our HMO won’t pick this up?) And no cutting or smashing bones in the process.

Here’s what happens: They shave his shoulder (and he’s soooo sensitive to these dry shaves), place conducting gel on his skin, apply a probe wired to the EST unit and hit him with thousands of these shocks, much like an ultrasound procedure. When the shockwaves meet tissue interfaces of different densities (where bone begins), the energy contained in the shockwaves is released and interacts with the tissue. The shockwaves appear to relieve pain and accelerate healing within the injured tissue. Apparently, as with aspirin, we don’t know why ( “the mechanism for these effects is unclear” ).

While getting all worked up about this cool new treatment, Dr. McCarthy reminded me of a housemate (farmhousemate?) at school a lonnnnngggg time ago — a med student who was an absolute lithotriptor freak. He talked about the revolutionary new machine endlessly: bombarding kidney stones at breakfast, bombarding bone fragments at dinner, it was like living with a DOOM game designer who can’t stop talking about the revolution of first person shooting and graphics engines — although both cool new technologies made me seasick. Let’s hope Ahab fares a wee bit better.

Here’s looking at you, Ahab.